My New Favorite "Spot"

May 31st, 2014 Spending the day with family at the secret "spot"

 Today begins a change in how I live for the rest of my life.

I could have easily stayed home in bed. I woke up shaky, fatigued and just feeling weird. But I knew my mom was coming, that I was going to help babysit and that today was the day to "start living" again.

I'm so sick of Lyme controlling me.

I have been a slave to Lyme disease for far too long.

Cows resting in the pasture.

 I want to get back to living. I want to explore nature. 

I want to take pictures of beautiful things.

Today I ventured out with my mom, her friend Diane, my son in law Marcus and my precious little grandaughter Raya.

My mom and her best friend.

Marcus knows this little spot that not too many people know about.

You can sit under the bridge with your feet in the water, watching kids swim, dogs playing and just relax.

Great Grandma holding Raya Sunshine.

 I so missed nature. Feeling the cold water run over my feet, listening to the birds sing, just being outside.

I had been trapped in my room too long inside my little apartment.

 Dogs were in seventh heaven chasing their sticks and diving into the nice cool water.

The Little Things in Life, are the Big Things. 

This is surely one of the things that Lyme has taught me.

A good message someone wrote:
"Smile to life, cuz you never know who's going to take your picture."

A nice little waterfall.

Raya & Daddy

For many years I lived with what doctors called, panic disorder or generalized anxiety. It was hard for me to leave my apartment for days, months and even years. I don't think it was people I was scared of. It was the fear of "something happening" to me while I was out.

There is a comfort in being home when you are sick. You can lay down when you want. If you get embarrasing symptoms like dizziness or vertigo or just feeling too weak to move all of a sudden, you are free to just lay down. Noone is watching you be sick.

At home you can somewhat control the amount of stimulation coming in. In public you can't. At home you can control sound levels, at home you can control lights and how bright it is, at home you don't have to spray chemicals or perfume or hairspray, at home you can be sick, comfortably. These things, commotion, sounds, light, smells, can all put your CNS on hyper over load and make you severely sick, and it can happen quickly. So for a long time I, as well as many other chornically ill patients, we become "agoraphobic."

Throughtout this blog, I will write tips or ways I have learned to overcome agoraphocbia and the other ways that we can get back to living.

1. Breathing. I have to concentrate on my breathing throughout the day. Anytime I know I have plans or a committment I automatically start obsessing about if I'm going to be ok. When my brain starts this, I immediately make sure I am breathing correctly. When we get stressed or anxiety, one of the first things that happens is we start to breath shallowly. This increased the carbon dioxide in our lungs, thus our brains and we start to feel light headed. Once we start to feel light headed, our heart starts to pitter patter or beat fast or erratically. That further sends us into panic mode thinking, "I am having a heart attack." How many of us have been down this road again and again.  I have found that putting my hand on my stomach and breathing in until I see my hand move, helps. Continue to take a couple deep breaths breathing out slowly. This is such a simple technique but my main one I turn to when I start feeling "weird."

2. Have a Plan. Make sure you have your cell phone and it's charged. Make sure you have contacts numbers in case you need someone to come pick you up should you suddenly get sick. Have a list ready of what you are needing to do that day. You know how bad our memories are. Make sure to text yourself where you parked your car. All the little things that become stressful like losing keys, forgetting where you car is, or forgetting where you are when you are driving are the things that keep us from doing anything. Just think of what it is that scares you about leaving your house, then think of solutions for each thing. Pack yo water, snacks, meds ahead of time. This will give you some peace of mind that even if something does happen, you will be able to deal with it.

3. Comfort People. I know a lot of you don't have family and friends around to help. So, I'm sorry if this is your scenario. But for those who have some supportive people in your lives. Use these friends to get out for awhile. We don't want to overwhelm anyone. And let's face it, we all can be overwhelming for someone who is not sick. But we should take advantage of the ones who genuinely want to help us instead of pushing them away so we don't feel like a burden. Use different people for different purposes. If your mom likes to shop, ask her to go with you on grocery shopping trips. If your best friend likes to do outdoorsy things ask her to plan a short day trip with you to favorite spot. Explain to these people ahread of time what to expect. For example tell them if you can only walk short distances or if you have certain food requirements or if you have a two hour limit to physical activity. Let them know your limitations and how they can help you make the day a functional day.