I have noticed since getting sick, that I tend to isolate myself. Not online obviously but in real life. I could just stay in my apartment and never leave. When I do go out, because I do like nature, I go find trails or water and sit by myself. I tend to prefer being alone then to be with other people. Or if I go with someone else, it will be my "comfort people" to my "comfort locations." Comfort people are people who are around me a lot and understand my symptom wierdness cuz of Lyme.
Going somewhere new, or meeting new people gives me severe anxiety.
I think that Lyme made me this way because I used to be very social. Now it is hard to shower, to do my hair, forget makeup. Talking and conversation bring about neuro symptoms, like ear ringing, head pressure, neck pressure, and just trying to keep up with a conversation is hard since my attention span is zilch.
I need quiet. Sound annoys me. I used to love music, now I can't handle it. A quiet tv on in the background playing some calm show is ok as it covers up the Tinnitis. But anything loud music or screaming or any loudness, I can't handle it and get panic attacks.
What scares me is I don't mind it. I have learned to like being alone. It is easier for me. No overstimulation, no loud noise, I can control lights and smells. If I feel weird I can lay down quickly. I can be in comfy cloths and wear yoga pants all day with no judgement. It's easier to be sick alone for me. I can shake and tremor and cry and swear, and hide under my blankets. No judgement from anyone else, no putting pressure on anyone else to understand. Just me and my sickness all alone.
Anyone else feel this way? Why would a disease make you want to be isolated?
I have noticed not all lymies are like this. I have noticed a big scale, from " completely liking being alone" to "needy as hell." So I know we are all different. But I just wanted to start this conversation to hear how others feel.
